I’ve had one of those weeks when it has felt as though everything was heavy — from the late summer air, to the extra few pounds I’ve managed to gain, to the heart struggles that come when we love and care about others.  I’m not exactly sure why, but to quote a particularly funny line from an old favorite movie - Airplane! - it seems “I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue.”  (If you haven’t seen the movie, you’ll have to trust me on that one.) 

To be completely honest, the prospect of what I would even share with my readers this week only added to my angst.  I had myself so convinced that there was absolutely nothing worthy that I could write that would speak to my faith when it was registering so low.  This is something I took up with God.

Me:  What am I supposed to write, God?  I don’t feel like anything I say will be authentic.  

God:  Why?

Me:  Because, God.  Look at me! I’m a mess!  Everything feels hard and difficult. And — you know — you know all that I am struggling with.  

God:  And you think I want you to write like your life is perfect?

Me:  No.  

God:  Then write about that.

Me:  What?

God:  Write this —“You can’t change what you can’t change.  Only I can.”

Okay.  So, here goes.  

If I can share just one thing that I have learned through what has been a long and somewhat gut-wrenching season, it is that life is hard.  It has so many peaks and valleys.  Some of it is filled with wine and roses and moonbeams, and the scent of babies after their baths, and fresh baked cookies, and family fun nights.  Then there are the other parts  — the skinned knees and broken promises, long nights with wet pillows and empty tissue boxes, with missing people and giving all you’ve got to make ends meet and still get your kids in braces and gas in your car.

All of it — the transition from glee to grieving, from happy to heartache, from chance meetings and sad goodbyes, from faith to fragile unbelief — is held together and tied up with a string of hope that God knows everything you are going through and that somehow - someway - He is carrying you through it by Grace.

Sometimes, it feels like you are all alone and nothing you are doing means anything to anyone.

I can tell you from my own experience, that’s when He comes in a quiet whisper… When your head is down and your spirit is low, and says “I see you.  I know all about it. I am here.”

It’s moments like this — like after a difficult day or week or year — when I sense Him lifting my head.   When my frustration is at a peak, He reminds me that I’m not intended to carry burdens on my own.  That I can’t do anything about situations or people or disappointments that are not for me to change.  They are for me to stand, to give my honest, heartfelt effort, to be truthful with my words and deeds — and then to give all to Him.

You can’t change what you can’t change. Only God can.

He wants for us to know that we are not intended to understand why things happen that are bad, but only that He will somehow bring it back to good.  He never intended for us to control everything that happens around us, to us — only for us to know that even in the midst of chaos, He reigns.  He doesn’t ask for us to recite every scripture in the middle of difficulty, only to hear that we believe in Him to lead us out of it.

Life is hard.  And beautiful.  And meaningful.  And wonderful.  And heavy. And sometimes so doggone heartbreaking that we feel absolutely lost.

Even then, know that He is with you.  Know that everything that happens is not so that we have a perfect life, but that we know that in the midst of it, His perfect love for us never changes. 

If you’ve had a week where everything in it has been hard, know that I understand.

And know that He does, too.

May Grace fill you and lift you up, and may you always have faith enough to know that whatever you cannot change, God will. 

He said so.