I grew up in a home with three brothers and a mom who made sure we went to church every week.  As a devout Catholic, there were ways she could look at us that said we were just one misstep away from a trip to the confessional.  She was a good mom —and still is. Now in her 80’s, I can testify that she can run circles around me most days.  

My mom had a saying that she used liberally on my brothers and me, should we complain that her single mom salary did not keep us styling in the hippest of duds like our peers.  “I used to cry because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet,” she’d quip.  And just like that, we were put in our place. It worked every time. Be grateful for what you have because there is someone always worse off than you.

Truth.

A lot of years have rolled by since then.  I’d like to think that I have passed along the adage of being grateful to my own kids.  A different version, but perhaps they will one day speak of me as one who taught them “But for the grace of God, go I.”  Things can always be worse. 

It’s difficult, when your heart feels trampled on… When you feel like you are the only single woman at Target on a Saturday night (you’re not, by the way) walking down each aisle so as to stretch out your supposed need to see every - every - item that might happen to be on sale.  There are a ton of stressors on your mind - bills, work, family issues, things that have happened that are still hard to reconcile, the perpetual need to rob Peter to pay Paul…  We are constantly rerouting our emotions to not dwell… But we do.  We simply can’t help it.  

Despite how this sounds, those who know me would say that I am an optimist.  My friends at work would attest to my penchant for tagging the end of some frustrating or difficult issue that we all might be struggling with — “Better days ahead!”  It truly is something I believe, not just say.  We’re gonna get through this… we’re gonna get through this… we’re gonna get through this…. 

I know it, down to my core.

I have lived long enough to see how things cycle back around. Nothing stays the same.  It’s the people who stand, who stay, who fight for what is right, who have the greatest story to tell.  Others, who live only for themselves, without integrity or compassion, are like chaff in the wind.  Always boasting, but never fulfilling what God has placed in them to do.  They are not rooted in truth, and will fall away in time.

I bet you have heard of people like this, too.

I hear you.  I get your emails, your instant messages, your comments posted to my blog or words sent tearfully after having read my book… You think you have lost everything.  You feel like life is not worth living.  You wonder how you will go on.

I have come to know you and understand that there is always someone hurting even more than myself.

What I can offer you, is this — It will get better.  Better days are ahead.  And what I know for absolute sure, is that in the equation of you versus him/her/them, you unequivocally win if you stand tall, in your faith, and give it to God to fight the battle.  Despite what it feels like. Despite what you’re facing.  Despite what they’ve done.  Despite not seeing where He is taking you. 

I know it feels like you have no feet, and someone else is walking around in your shoes.  But I’m here to tell you the truth. By His grace, you will see it all come back around.  He’s got you.  The rest — the mockery, the flaunting of a life intended to prove that someone or some others have it all, is a lie.  Fools and frauds, no matter what they try to show the world, are deeply flawed and broken people. 

Just be real.  Just be you.

I often say, “I would rather be me, any day.”

Keep standing there in your bare feet.  Keep the faith that He is fighting for you, that He is working on things behind the scenes and getting you ready.

God is honoring all your efforts.  He sees you on your good days and your bad.  He’s got a plan and it is good!

But for the grace of God, go I.

Better days ahead!

In the meantime, girlfriend….I’ll see you at Target.