The Potion or the Process

I wish there was something that I could take that would dull the achy days; the ones that come and —no matter how hard I try — I simply can’t get out of my own way.  Thoughts come and push me off the track of progress like a freight train.  My wheels spin.  My heart sinks.

I don’t know why these days intermix themselves among all the good ones.  They juxtapose against all that I seek to do right. I work hard.  I tend to my responsibilities, my home, my kids.  I feel certain that I am doing all that God would have me do in this season.  

Still, they come. And, just like that, something triggers me and it seems all hope is lost.

I wonder if you have been here?

I am coming to understand that life is filled with achy days.  These are the times, difficult as they are, by which we stew for just a bit in what hurts our hearts, worries our minds, and causes us to dig deep.  None of this is fun, but I believe that it is normal.  It is a necessary ebb and flow that causes us to take inventory, to make corrections, to ponder. 

It’s just that we can’t get stuck here. 

I wish I could better anticipate the triggers that cause me to languish within my head perhaps a bit too long on some days.  I am getting better at this, but there are times I have to just give in to it and let it run it’s course.  Wallowing is not necessarily bad when we give it parameters; when we don’t allow it to take us over.  

For me, if I acknowledge that I am feeling weak and discouraged, then I can counter it by speaking truth.  “God is working this all out.  I know He is.  He’s got me.”

I believe that true healing happens to us from the inside, out.  We have to feel the sting of grieving and sorrow.  We have to come to terms with knowing that life has taken twists and turns that look much different than what we had hoped for.  We have to come to grips with disappointments and people who have betrayed us.  We have to.

When we tell ourselves that we shouldn’t feel these things, we harm ourselves even greater.  When we don’t allow ourselves to examine our feelings, we can’t process them. 

This is the place where we size things up and do the only thing we can — and that’s give it to God.  This is where I make a conscious decision that I cannot carry what hurts, and in my heart I lay it at His feet.  Completely.  

This is not a one-time event.  It’s a process that I find myself doing over and over, each time forgiving myself for trying to carry it on my own. I am always grateful that He so willingly takes it back into His capable and divine control.

We are not equipped to handle life’s toughest burdens by ourselves.  We also cannot ignore them. There is no magic potion that causes them to disappear.  When we neglect to deal with our hurts, they do not go away.  They follow us like cargo cars wherever we go. 

We don't heal, if we don't deal...It's simply the way it is. 

It’s a process that, with His help, we endure.  And when we get through it, we always see revealed His perfect plan. 

Even when it's hard.

God is with us in our difficult days. Even when we don’t feel Him,  He never leaves us.  He’s always teaching us something, and I believe that it is that we are to rely on Him and where He is taking us.  

It’s okay to have your achy moments. Give to Him all your sorrows and know that He is working all things out for your good. 

He is.